Falling...
I think im falling into depression again.. notice by the things i done, the way i am, and found out that everything i do just dosent seems right to anyone, no one will notice the stress and problems i am facing now. i donno the decision that i made was a good or bad, but least stopping everything will of cuz lessen lots of my burdens. Are human filled with feelings? i doubt so.. i just hope that no 1 will ever treat me in any good or kindness way, it would really affect me. and its has really affected me very much.
tonite is just another sucking nite for me. thats why i said i hate monday, but after this week i think i wont hate monday that much already.i dont understand wat the fuck im am writing. explantion of the 5 steps of griefs now.
1) Denial and Isolation: this is the first stage where we found out that we had loss but denying that the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from usual social contacts, it may last a few moments or longer.
2) Anger: the person may then be furious at the persion who inflicted those hurt to him/her for the matter to let it happen. but no matter wat, wat happen had alreayd happened and nothing could ever stopped it anyway.
3) Bargaining: Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking if i do this, will u take away the loss...
4) Depression: The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath which means it may leak to alot of case for example like thinking of suiciding, killing people, no feeling for anyone or watsoever, just pure like a man without his soul.
5) Acceptance: This stage is when anger, sadness, mourning have tapered off. the person will then accepts the reality of loss.. which i think i still cant accept the loss i have been thru..
bao bao just called me, she is indeed very good! i just tag her not long and she really gave me a call, bao bao is really very good. i promise to treat her to eat tekah and bak kut teh next time!! no choice she love tekah and bak kut teh then she love any other thing.
What am I supposed to doWith all these blues
Haunting me, everywhere, no matter what I do
Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow
I cant let go
When will this night be over
when will this night be over for me.. its just seems everlasting and no ending
To admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I have to move on
And leave you behind
to leave u behind hurts but to have u will be more hurt.
What do I do to make you want me
What have I gotta do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
Sorry seems to be the hardest word
sorry seems nothing...
I was dying inside to hold you,
i couldnt believe what i felt for you
dying inside, i was dying inside
but i just couldnt bring myself to love you...
end of story. end of day. end of ???
|2:59 AM|