3:13am~ i am still not asleep! so boring so come to have another post? tok to tracy abt relationship and she show me one of her fren blog and i read the entry.. wat he says was quite true.. than tracy went to post an entry lol.. than i go and read hers and found tt she really understand the meaning haha..
i was asking myself.. did i ever treat her well b4? did i gave her the happiness she wan? did i fulfill the promise i made to her? did i cherish her well enough? did i did i did i and many many of the "did i"... when our relationship was on the brink.. someone appear in our life and there i have to lose the person whom i love so much.. to that someone. tis person told me many bullshits and how "fierce" he was before lol.. he send her back home, sms wif her happily like there's nobody business.. than the most fucking thing he told me that he was 30 and she was 19 and nothing will be possible for them to be together.. i guess those were just bedtimes story.. just to coax me to sleep.. he even sms and scolded me.. but maybe wat he says is true.. "xiao mei has not eat anything and is having gastric pain dont u know that?" maybe because of gambling i had neglect her so much til she had gastric pain? than says frens go out together got wrong meh? yeah theres no wrong.. and the outcome is this.. happy ending~~
And she told me that why she call tt bitch not gamble he will stop gamble but why she told me so many times i still continue to gamble? and tt guy still can tell me that wat she says is true cause gambling the outcome is lose and yeah.. wat a hypocrite he is.. i don believe a person who gambles can quit gambling. so what if he is 30 and so wat if he had seen the world more than me.. his mother confirm nv teach him tis theory that nv ever come in between a couple?
i had to go through the worst part of my life for that past 4 days? i had to endure the pain.. the sadness.. the worst part of my life. our realtionship.. was ending.. because there was no freedom to her, my temper, my impulsive way of handling thing. maybe what she says was right.. maybe i kept her too tight because i was afraid i will lose her? i tried to talk things out but whatever i talk to her the outcome just don go my way.. because of her work influence? or she's really grown up? or she had finally find her real happiness in life? God's know~~
on the 4th day, i moved back.. because i know that whatever i says to her will be useless.. packed all my stuff and that was the last time i cried. i move back.. my father, my mother, her bf and my really really good buddies talk round me. i learn many things and understand many things in life. she's now very happy wif her present bf and me as a bystander can only wish her all the best and.. try to hate her as much as i can? i seriously don understand why.. a relationship can be so fragile.. what i can only say is that.. i still love her very much even though i hope to hate her even more.. every week.. saw her at the same place.. saw her smile.. is not the same smile and laughter she had last time.. she is truely a happy and cheerful person and that make me thinks that ending our relationship was a good choice. and tracy wrote a good phrase "Yesterday's heartbreaks, make us stronger tomorrow".. so i hope all couples out there will cherish your love one.. deeply wish from my heart. :( :( :(
i know that u will come and read my blog and if u wan to get how unhappy with me i got nothing to say. i am just writing out on how am i feeling :)
ok relationship talks end here! now i wan to say about friends.. i know that u all dislike each other but have u ever think back how we known each other last time? i don wish to see both of u whom is my best of best friend to just quarrel like that. One should know each other character by now.. maybe some of us out there dislike the ways he handle thing or the thing he had done? i did quarrelled wif janet before and even scolded and insult her before but why she still can forgive me? because she still regard me as a fren of her so i hope u all can forgive him for wat he have done or wat he had say before.. maybe u all had misunderstood wat he was trying to say? sometimes let us just control our temper abit and close one eye and just let tis matter rest?
we known each other since sec 1 til now.. wat up and downs we have not been through before? just think of those happy times we had gond through because as time goes by.. i think the chances of meeting up for a drink would be more and more difficult. so just forgive each other k? although i know u wont lol..
found out that is 4:29am liao~~ say really.. i am quite sick and tired wif the poly life.. in poly.. i can see the other side of human.. everyone is wearing a mask walking around the school. and people are very practical.. maybe tis is a training for us to let us see wat the outside world is also? when u score well ppl go to u.. when u done badly everyone hides themselves from u. People will tend to get arrogant of their result but we study so hard is for our future or is just for that 2 mins of showing off how well u have done? come on.. 8/20 so wat? 1/20 so wat? 20/20 so wat? sometimes just try to be humble..
just quarrel wif one of my poly mate just now.. maybe i really cant get along wif my poly friends? lol.. account quiz later and i still donno quiz on chapter to wat to wat lol.. see wat study wat and get ready for another laughter session by people.. i think after my tis entry i will be getting ready to have more conflict wif people lol.. but i think wat for we live til so pathetic with so much thing that we don dare to says out?
cant believe that i can post 2 such a long winded entry per day.. is a new record for me liao.. 4:48 liao.. go sleep! fail than fail lo.. who cares.. the most.. supp again lo :p goodbye to those who read my entry and those who hates me after reading it lol..
|3:10 AM|